From the mouth of babes

Yesterday's post was a surprise to me.  I sat down to write about the arrival weekend of my grandchildren on Saturday and the fun time we had on Saturday and Sunday.  Instead, the feelings of the change to the Christmas season emerged very strongly once at the keyboard so I wrote about them instead. 

And, my grandkiddies have arrived for a visit until the Monday after Christmas. It is such a joy to have them here--along with their parental units, Chris and Casey.  For Sunday dinner, Casey's Mom, Rosemary, joined us and I cooked up a pretty good chicken dinner with potato and asparagus.  Everyone said it was very tasty and no one got sick so I guess I did good. 

I did get some of the Christmas decorations out of the garage and got them in place for Sunday dinner.  Chris has agreed to help me set up the tree Tuesday evening because, as he said, "We have to have a tree on Christmas Day!"  I agree. I mean, it is in a box in the garage, it doesn't take too long to get it done--notwithstanding last year's multi-week project.

Out of the mouth of babes--my 6 year old Grandson, Danny, announced shortly after arrival on Saturday that "Grandma Mary is in heaven."  I thought I'd totally lose it at that point, it was so sweet and innocent.  And so very, very obvious to a six year old that Mary was not here.  

He then proceeded with another question, "Why did she go to heaven?"  

Because she died. 

"Why did she die?"  

Because had a nasty disease called cancer.

"Why does cancer make you die?"

Sometimes cancer makes you die, many times it does not. We are all sad that cancer made Mary die. At that point he went on to a new topic.  And I managed to distract myself with the joy of having him and his sister, Sarah, here for the holidays.  It is only now, reliving the conversation in my head that the tears easily come. 

Chris, Casey, Danny and Sarah came to the house directly from the airport--Southwest delivered them three hours late on Saturday.  We fixed sandwiches to take care of the hungries after their eight hour journey for a 2.5 hour flight.  They had planned to go to a party (kids included) on Saturday night so Casey dressed for the party and then they packed the Humette and set off for their evening.  

As I stood in the garage and Chris started to back the car out of the driveway, all the emotion and expectation I had been keeping under check came pouring out.  I was so afraid the visit would not happen, or somehow I would be so disappointed it would ruin the visit.  I knew at that moment as the car started moving that none of the bad stuff was going to occur. Instead, it was already as good or even better than I had dared to hope.   

They noticed my meltdown and although I waved them off, turned and stepped into the house, Chris came through the door a minute later to see if I was really ok.  I told him about "Grief Landmines" and how they will just happen now and then. And, for me, they generally last for a few minutes and then they are gone.  I then I told him how happy I was to have him and his family here for Christmas.  He asked if I would be ok for the evening and I told him I was late for a party (true) so he gave me a big hug (easy to do since he is 6'4" or maybe 6'5") and took his leave.  

As for me, I dressed and headed to my own party.  Ingrid had invited me to a former co-worker's party in Pleasanton and it was a very nice event.  The hostess lost her husband a year ago in early December so technically this was her "second Christmas". Her four siblings all live locally and it is clear she has a great support network in place. The house was full of her siblings, their spouses or SOs, friends and offspring of the various parings. There was a lot going on and it was great!

Why am I being a night owl? Well, I was in China last week and I think jet lag has my internal clock a little wacky. And, that wackiness is interacting with my emotional reaction to the Christmas season. Between the two, I am having just a bit of sleeping difficulty. I am sure it will pass. 

Tuesday evening is Chris, Danny and Sarah for dinner and setting up my tree!  It will be a very good time!