Don't tell me its June!

Where has the time gone?  I just realized I hadn't posted for a month!  Wow! 

OK, in no particular order. 

Leyla is loving her new home.  Three kids, another dog and a great set of parents. The last time I saw here, the look on her face was "Gee, don't I sort of know you from someplace? Maybe, once a long time ago?"  Anyway, she is doing great! 

The Golf Links house is on the market.  You can read all about it by clicking here.  Now, I had no idea what it takes to get a house ready to sell. In my adult life, I have sold the house on Country Road B2 in Roseville MN, the house at 1150 Brooks in Roseville MN, and the house at 2422 Apsis where we lived during the Golf Links remodel.  Needless to say, I was too busy with work to lift a finger for any of those moves.  In divine retribution, I did everything I needed to do to sell this one.  What a job it is!  

The photographer figured this angle to show the house. I was amazed and surprised how he captured the house. 

Interestingly, my parents house in Falcon Heights MN was up for sale this month as well. Really a strange feeling to have "two homes" in my history for sale at the same time.

On June 2nd, Daniel (Mary's youngest) married Kamie in Sainte Anne de Madawaska, New Brunswick Canada.  Where is that? Well, about a four hour drive from any airport: Quebec, Fredricton, Bangor Maine or six hours from St. John or Portland Maine.  In other words, a long trip. Why, you ask? Simple, that is where the bulk of Kamie's family resides and Grandma is key to the family festivities. At 90+, she is no longer able to do long distance travel. 

Here is the happy couple after the ceremony!  

The wedding and reception were fantastic. A real treat.  And, I wish the newlyweds well on their journey together. 

From Sainte Anne, I headed East to St John and Cape Breton. On Cape Breton I meet several "Lamey" relatives.  It turns out the Lamey's of Cape Breton arrived about 1800, roughly 50 years before the Lamey's of Minnesota arrived.  Now the task is to figure out if there is true relationship between the Cape Breton folks and the Minnesota folks.  My sister, Maureen, reported that she discovered an album of Cape Breton fiddle music recorded by William "Bill" Lamey (click here) some year ago. Dad reacted strongly to his late brother's namesake and eventually called Bill Lamey. Well, a few years ago I found Mary Lamey of Boston and she is the daughter of Bill Lamey, the musician!  Mary helped me contact the Cape Breton family folks while I was there. Small world! 

Pat Lamey of Port Hawkesbury, Cape Breton meets Pat Lamey of California by way of Minnesota. Who knew? (Interesting,we both use Patrick for formal and business, and Pat for friends and family). 

And, I am truly enjoying the time at my place in San Francisco.  Cousin Mary Jo and her husband Denny were here in May as I put the house on the market. They stayed in the studio for a few nights and I do believe they really enjoyed it. Once I sell Golf Links and decide on a place in LG, I will be adjusting my life and habits to make it a more regular place to be.  Right now, I am constantly back at Golf Links making sure the house is secure and the brokers have a fine showing each time they bring a potential buyer.   

This was the view from my bed in the apartment as I awoke on Saturday morning this weekend. Ahh, San Francisco Bay! 

Leyla (aka Wiggles) finds a home

This is going to sound like I made it up. I didn't, it is real.

I ran into a fellow cruising the neighborhood while taking Wiggles for a walk. I asked if I could assist him in any way.  He told me he had just purchased one of the homes nearby.  We chatted and he learned that Wiggles was up for adoption. 

"My family arrives Saturday, can I bring them over to see Wiggles? We promised a dog to my daughter when we moved to California."  Sure, no problem.

Well, unbeknownst to Dad (who was in California at his new job while the family was back East), daughter and Mom had decided on a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel the very day I met the Dad.  Two days before flying to California, Mom bought a stuffed toy Cavalier with the white and tan markings--just like Leyla--to confirm the promise of the new dog.

Needless to say, once the daughter and Mom saw Leyla, Leyla had a new home!

We waited a few days until their furniture arrived, and then another day or so until Leyla did her "test sleep over."  Its been 9 days and Leyla is still there.  I think she has settled in. (Mom did have a long talk with the vet about Leyla's overall medical condition and her deafness. Mom was satisfied.)

All I know is that there is a very, very happy 9 year old girl who now has Leyla in her life. And Leyla not only has the girl, she has a family of five with another dog as companion (a lab mix). 

As one of the neighbor's said, "Its a match made in heaven!"

Ciao

p

Leyla is up for adoption

Special
Needs Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

*  * 
*  Born deaf  * 
*  *

Wonderful 5
year old female Blenheim needs a new home.

Not
recommended for very young children.

• My situation is changing and I can no longer keep this wonderful
  little girl. 


• She was born deaf and responds well to hand signals. 


• She lives in Los Gatos. 


• Her medical care has been done at VCA Johnsons since she arrived
  at 1 year old. 




• Like many
  CKCS, she does have medical conditions from time to time.  Any prospective owner needs to be aware.




• Target Date for Adoption of May 1 (or earlier)

Two Years

My flight to Minnesota on the 7th was uneventful.  Dinner with my sister and checked into the Hilton Garden Inn in Minneapolis.  The Hotwire price was outstanding although the daily parking fee was a bit pricey.  

Mary's family plot is on this side of the tree, pictures taken about noon time. 

On Easter Sunday (8th) I went to Resurrection Cemetery.  The Quirks are buried in a section of the cemetery that does not allow monuments or head stones, only foot stones.  

It still seems unreal that she is dead.  

When I walked up to this foot stone, the tears simply started.  The road is a few feet away so I play our favorite music through the car stereo. And I spend time with her.  I was there from about noon until 5PM or so.  So many thoughts, so many feelings, so much to tell her about. 


And such a huge void I must live with.  


Perhaps because she is buried in Minnesota and I have only been able to visit annually, a whole pile of emotions seems to tumble out of me for several weeks prior to the trip, while visiting and after I get home.  This year was particularly hard because the decision to put down Mary's favorite dog had been hanging over me for months and I finally made the decision just prior to the trip.  


Even today is melancholy as I unpack my clothes and do laundry.  We always had a nice meal celebrating our 'being home' and I will never share that with Mary again. 


I really did not want to see family on April 8, in spite of it being Easter and my birthday.  In Mary's honor, I ordered a ticket to see the current production at the Guthrie. Mary took me there the first time, probably in 1965 just two years after it opened. So I went to the Guthrie that evening and enjoyed a play to honor her words to me "embrace life for both of us now". 


Before I left the cemetery, I stopped to see various family plots. 

My Mom, died April 8, 1988. 

I was in California and getting ready for work--in fact I was in the shower--when the call came from Dad that Mom had died. I packed a bag and headed for Minnesota on the next available plane. 

My Aunt Claire married my Dad's brother older brother John. She died on April 8, 2003. 

Aunt Claire was always a special lady in my life. And, in spite of the short time Mary and I were together (1990-2010 the 2nd time around) and living thousands of miles away, Aunt Claire had earned a special spot in Mary's life too. It happened at Uncle Coleman Connolly's funeral, held just three months after we were married in 1996.  Aunt Claire and Mary spent a large portion of the wake on a couch together discussing life and the family.  Mary often mentioned that touching experience. 

Resurrection Cemetery is located on the bluffs above Augusta and Lemay (not Lamey) lakes

My immediate family is buried in this same cemetery.  John and Claire are on the edge of the bluff, Mom and Dad are set back from the bluff not more than 100 feet. And the Connollys (Mom's family) and Quirks are up on the hill on the far side of the property. 

My space awaits here with Mom and Dad.  I didn't realize how my shadow impacts the meaning of this picture. 

It is truly hard to spend time visiting those who have died.  Its very hard when its a grandparent or parent or an Aunt or Uncle who you loved as part of your family.  


But nothing is comparable to visiting the grave of your spouse.  Nothing.  

Time to go. The tree's shadow has shifted from my noon arrival. 

p

Email circulated at my office today

Happy trails to you, until we meet again!
(With apologies to Roy Rogers and Dale Evans.)

As of April 15, I am officially retiring from Applied Materials and full time work. Instead, I plan on spending lots of time with family and that means traveling to Pasadena, Phoenix, Denver, Minnesota, Pennsylvania and New York City.

I also plan on being a fanatic about the America's Cup too.

The year 2012 means I've been in the semiconductor business for 43 years (1969). It has served me well and enabled me to make the decision to retire.

Drop a line or call, I'd love to hear from you.

Oh, and feel free to forward this to friends and acquaintances, after 43 years I may not have everyone’s current contact info.

Pat

+1 408 827 8827
Pat@Lamey.us
www.Lamey.us



Pat

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Two Years

It is now two years since Mary died.  My life has been sort of a 'sustain the status quo' as my primary mode.  In the last several months, I have made major decisions and they are being done. I retired from full time work (effective Feb 1, actually April 15), I bought a studio apartment in San Francisco with a view of the bay, I will be selling the house Mary and I created in 2000 and spent the next decade 'finishing', I'll downsize to a townhouse here in Los Gatos, and Shawna, Mary's 17.5 year old dog, died last week.  

And in the middle of all that activity and forward motion, I have fallen into an emotional abyss these past couple of weeks as the anniversary of Mary's death approached.  


Mary last spoke on Easter Sunday two years ago.  That year, Easter was on the 4th.  By Monday morning, the 5th, she was unconscious and her vital functions were virtually gone--kidneys, bowel et al. But, her heart and lungs were still working--weak--but working.  


I hope you never, ever have to watch a loved one continue "living" when they are clearly not conscious and there is no hope for recovery.  The hospital staff removed all the instruments so the lights, beeping and alarms were gone during the last days.  They call it Comfort Care--provide comfort to the patient. This is, I now know, the last stage of Palliative Care.   


Mary's condition told us that she was going to die. Her collection bag was empty because no fluids were being removed by her liver and kidneys because they were in failure.  Her body simply continued to retain the fluid being delivered by her IV. There was far more impact on me when I realized all the activity with the doctors and nurses suddenly stops because she is in comfort care.  They stopped taking measurements of temperature and blood pressure and all the daily things they routinely do in a hospital. The room was quiet, very quiet. Few visits by any of the hospital staff.  The irregular rythm of nurses, interns, specialists and doctors appearing in the room suddenly stopped.  


Mary had great nurses when her status changed to palliative care and then to comfort care.  They were very patient with us, for the entire family had arrived by April 1st, the Thursday before Easter.  Tim and Charlize. Lara, Scott, Madelyn and Emma.  Daniel.  Chris, Casey, Danny and Sarah. Erika. Reenie. They all made it to the hospital so they could say good bye to Mary.  And Mary said good bye to each of them for she had moments of lucid conversation up to and through Easter Sunday.  They stayed as long as they could and by the 8th, only Reenie and I remained. 


In the late afternoon of the 8th, Reenie and I were both in the room, concentrating on our computers as we had talked through so much already.  Reenie suddenly stood from her position at the foot of the bed. I was sitting next to Mary and as I wondered why Reenie had stood, I realized the soft whisper of Mary's breathing was no longer rhythmic.  


There is nothing in life's experience like the death of a loved one.  Be it sudden and accidental or be it long and drawn out as cancer often does, the hole created in your emotional being is large and painful.  And the anniversary of the death resonates loudly in your emotional being. So much so, even two years later, you are in wonder at the massive impact it has on you.  


If you are interested, you can click on this link which will take you to my blog from April of 2010.  


And clicking on this link will take you to my blog for April of 2011. 


Let me close this entry as I did last year. 

Mary, my love

Let your itchy feet carry you 

to new and wonderful places,

Let your spirit hold 

and keep our love,

All Ways and 

Always,

Pat

RIP Dawnglow Return to Sender

Shawna died today, March 28, 2012.  She was 17 years, six months and 14 days old. 


Shawna was a great dog and I will miss her terribly.  


She has now crossed the rainbow bridge meaning she will be with Mary and Wolfie once again.  


Rest in peace, Red Dog.  


Name         Dawnglow Return to Sender
Sex          Female
Breed        Spaniel (English Cocker)
Color        Red
Birth Date   September 14, 1994
Sire         Hobbithill McMurphys Optimum
Dam          Dawnglow Demoiselle
Breeder      Sandra L LaFlamme


A simple set of pictures of Shawna over the years...

Mary and Shawna in 1997, shortly after Shawna joined us. Shawna was 3 years old. 

Shawna at 8 years old

Shawna at 12 years old.

Easter 2009 with Granddaughters Madelyn and Charlize (14.5 years old)

Dr Wiese recommended I keep a coat on Shawna for warmth (16 years old). 

A recent picture with Pat and Shawna (17.5 years old)