Email circulated at my office today

Happy trails to you, until we meet again!
(With apologies to Roy Rogers and Dale Evans.)

As of April 15, I am officially retiring from Applied Materials and full time work. Instead, I plan on spending lots of time with family and that means traveling to Pasadena, Phoenix, Denver, Minnesota, Pennsylvania and New York City.

I also plan on being a fanatic about the America's Cup too.

The year 2012 means I've been in the semiconductor business for 43 years (1969). It has served me well and enabled me to make the decision to retire.

Drop a line or call, I'd love to hear from you.

Oh, and feel free to forward this to friends and acquaintances, after 43 years I may not have everyone’s current contact info.

Pat

+1 408 827 8827
Pat@Lamey.us
www.Lamey.us



Pat

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Two Years

It is now two years since Mary died.  My life has been sort of a 'sustain the status quo' as my primary mode.  In the last several months, I have made major decisions and they are being done. I retired from full time work (effective Feb 1, actually April 15), I bought a studio apartment in San Francisco with a view of the bay, I will be selling the house Mary and I created in 2000 and spent the next decade 'finishing', I'll downsize to a townhouse here in Los Gatos, and Shawna, Mary's 17.5 year old dog, died last week.  

And in the middle of all that activity and forward motion, I have fallen into an emotional abyss these past couple of weeks as the anniversary of Mary's death approached.  


Mary last spoke on Easter Sunday two years ago.  That year, Easter was on the 4th.  By Monday morning, the 5th, she was unconscious and her vital functions were virtually gone--kidneys, bowel et al. But, her heart and lungs were still working--weak--but working.  


I hope you never, ever have to watch a loved one continue "living" when they are clearly not conscious and there is no hope for recovery.  The hospital staff removed all the instruments so the lights, beeping and alarms were gone during the last days.  They call it Comfort Care--provide comfort to the patient. This is, I now know, the last stage of Palliative Care.   


Mary's condition told us that she was going to die. Her collection bag was empty because no fluids were being removed by her liver and kidneys because they were in failure.  Her body simply continued to retain the fluid being delivered by her IV. There was far more impact on me when I realized all the activity with the doctors and nurses suddenly stops because she is in comfort care.  They stopped taking measurements of temperature and blood pressure and all the daily things they routinely do in a hospital. The room was quiet, very quiet. Few visits by any of the hospital staff.  The irregular rythm of nurses, interns, specialists and doctors appearing in the room suddenly stopped.  


Mary had great nurses when her status changed to palliative care and then to comfort care.  They were very patient with us, for the entire family had arrived by April 1st, the Thursday before Easter.  Tim and Charlize. Lara, Scott, Madelyn and Emma.  Daniel.  Chris, Casey, Danny and Sarah. Erika. Reenie. They all made it to the hospital so they could say good bye to Mary.  And Mary said good bye to each of them for she had moments of lucid conversation up to and through Easter Sunday.  They stayed as long as they could and by the 8th, only Reenie and I remained. 


In the late afternoon of the 8th, Reenie and I were both in the room, concentrating on our computers as we had talked through so much already.  Reenie suddenly stood from her position at the foot of the bed. I was sitting next to Mary and as I wondered why Reenie had stood, I realized the soft whisper of Mary's breathing was no longer rhythmic.  


There is nothing in life's experience like the death of a loved one.  Be it sudden and accidental or be it long and drawn out as cancer often does, the hole created in your emotional being is large and painful.  And the anniversary of the death resonates loudly in your emotional being. So much so, even two years later, you are in wonder at the massive impact it has on you.  


If you are interested, you can click on this link which will take you to my blog from April of 2010.  


And clicking on this link will take you to my blog for April of 2011. 


Let me close this entry as I did last year. 

Mary, my love

Let your itchy feet carry you 

to new and wonderful places,

Let your spirit hold 

and keep our love,

All Ways and 

Always,

Pat

RIP Dawnglow Return to Sender

Shawna died today, March 28, 2012.  She was 17 years, six months and 14 days old. 


Shawna was a great dog and I will miss her terribly.  


She has now crossed the rainbow bridge meaning she will be with Mary and Wolfie once again.  


Rest in peace, Red Dog.  


Name         Dawnglow Return to Sender
Sex          Female
Breed        Spaniel (English Cocker)
Color        Red
Birth Date   September 14, 1994
Sire         Hobbithill McMurphys Optimum
Dam          Dawnglow Demoiselle
Breeder      Sandra L LaFlamme


A simple set of pictures of Shawna over the years...

Mary and Shawna in 1997, shortly after Shawna joined us. Shawna was 3 years old. 

Shawna at 8 years old

Shawna at 12 years old.

Easter 2009 with Granddaughters Madelyn and Charlize (14.5 years old)

Dr Wiese recommended I keep a coat on Shawna for warmth (16 years old). 

A recent picture with Pat and Shawna (17.5 years old)

Why don't I just go work for the Vet?

Now that the crisis with Leyla is under control, Shawna (my 17.5 year old) is acting up. 


Unfortunately, in Shawna's case it appears to be an accelerating case of dementia.  Or, it is due to a urinary tract infection. 


The symptoms?  


She seems totally disoriented for long periods of time. Last night on our walk (off leash), she walked up to a tree in the front yard. She stood there looking at it and swinging her head back and forth seeking an exit.  It took her almost three minutes to figure out how to walk around it but only after I helped her.  


She has taken to voiding her bladder where ever she is standing. Today, it was in the feeding area. If you know anything about dogs, this is the last place they void.  She went out to the dog run with me yesterday and ran back into the house to void in the dining room. Today I took her for a walk, nothing happened until 2 minutes after we returned to the house--in the dining room.  


The vet tells me this could be due to a urinary tract infection. Shawna is spending the day at the vets while they try to capture a clean sample of urine to test.  


If there is an infection, taking care of it may reduce the problems with Shawna. 


If there is no infection, then I have a really tough decision to make...although her current lack of house training and her confusion is making it slightly less difficult. 


After all, Shawna is Mary's favorite dog.


p

Canine HGE

Who knew?


Symptoms are depression, lack of appetite, vomiting and fresh bloody bowel output.


One would think this is a possible diagnosis for the old dog. Right? Wrong, its Leyla--again! She managed to come up with canine HGE. Its an unexplained, sudden onset of digestive distress coupled with bloody output.


Monday was a late morning given my late arrival from St. Paul. My morning routine is to drag Shawna out of bed and to the stairs leading to the dog run. She stands there trying to wake up while I release Wiggles from her crate. Wiggles shot by the stationary Shawna as is normal. However, Wiggles back area was all soaked and not pretty as she hopped down the stairs. I carried Shawna down the stairs (something I do if she doesn't follow Wiggles) and then followed both of them into the dog run.


Wiggles then assumed the doggie position and proceded to produce puddles of blood. OMG, Wiggles, what is going on with you?


Shawna, no longer being the focus of my attention, followed me into the dog run and then returned to the dining room to do her morning business...this is getting to be NOT FUN!


Rush to the vet with Wiggles. Initial assessment is canine HGE. Battery of tests, IVs needed, xrays in case of a foreign body in her abdomen, special blood test to confirm (or not) packed red blood cells a typical problem with HGE, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Oh, and a small deposit based on the estimate of the needed medical procedures. Hole in my pocket dawg strikes again!


End of the day call from the Vet, 


"Leyla (aka Wiggles) is showing good signs. You have a choice of taking her home and nursing her or transferring her into the 24-hour doggie hospital."
"Is she likely to produce blood?"
"Probably once or twice more."
"I faint at the sight of blood."
"OK, I'll arranged the transfer."


By happenstance, one of the Farmers, Tom OC, was visiting with his daughter from Minnesota and they were going to borrow my Humette. They were drafted into doggie transfer duty before we had a lovely dinner together and then they took off for the evening.


At 6AM today the doggie hospital called and said that Wiggles could go home. I have since brought her home, fed her her special doggie digestive food and watched her normal looking output (no fresh blood). It seems she is on the way to good health, again. There is a special food routine for the next few days but overall, Wiggles appears to be on to solid ground.


 Ciao,


p

Heading Home (Day 4)

Sunday, March 18:  Again a late start.  I picked up my sister and we went to the nearby rent-a-space place which my cousin Mary Jo had strongly urged us to use. Its new, clean, air conditioned and just a couple of blocks from Maureen's current apartment.  

Maureen had done some counting and measuring of some of the stuff so we rented a 5 x 15 space. This allows her to keep an aisle down the middle and not have to pile things too high to get them into place.  Overall, I think it will work just fine for her.  We didn't bring the ceremonial first box.  But, I am sure Maureen will arrange that soon. 

We had lunch and then I dropped her off at her place.  Around the corner to fill the rental car with gas and then off to the airport.  

Now, you know I fly a lot.  You would think I would have: 

1) checked for messages from United, 

2) used a web browser to check my flight or 

3) used my smart phone and one of several apps to check status. 

OH NO!, I focused on the rental car deal.  The rental car was $25 a day and $19 per hour.  So, if you turn the car in after the 72nd hour, you basically get dinged for the next day.  They weren't going to get another $19 out of me!  No way!  I turned the car in an extra hour before my normal airport arrival time to avoid the $19! 

I turned in the car, went to the counter to pick up my boarding pass, bounced through security and then looked at the board to see what gate I was going to.  United 672 San Francisco Gate E6 5:50 departure DELAYED 7:30PM.  

Here I was a full 3.5 hours ahead of my flight thinking "What have I done to save $19?"

At that point I checked my smart phone. I only had three phone calls and three text messages from United the flight was late.  How did I miss them? I had turned the phone off and forgotten I had done so to save battery...duh. 

Home late and tired.  A good trip overall. 

Ciao

p

Funeral on St. Patrick's for Patrick (Day 3)

March 17, 2012:  I ate breakfast at the hotel because Super 8 does such an outlandish spread for breakfast!  I said goodbye to Sandy and Bernie as they headed off to see her folks. 

I diddled around before finally pointing the car to St John's Abbey.  I arrived late and sat way in the back corner of the large seating area.  Again, the monks had decided to put everyone in the choir so I basically was far behind the celebrants.  One of the Farmers noted that Patrick has the good sense to have his funeral on St. Patrick's day.  

Father J Patrick McDarby OSB, 1927-2012

The celebrants were leading a prayer as I sat.  The emotion of being at a funeral washed over me at that point and the tears started.  Patrick said a mass for Mary during our weekend at St. Johns in the summer of 2010.  Hearing the prayers again, being in that abbey church that Mary loved, and being there because Patrick was gone just hit me like a brick.  

Of course, at the moment I am absolutely in full tear mode, one of the monks approaches me and wants to confirm I am there for Patrick's funeral mass. The tears were flowing profusely as he asked and all I could do was nod my head. He then offers to lead me to the choir area so I can hear the ceremony better.  Still unable to talk, I shake my head no.  With hand signals and a moment or two, I can talk a bit and I told him that Patrick was a favorite of my late wife (a Farmer 68-69) and this was the first funeral I had attended since she died.  As a result, I was having a major emotional meltdown and I'd prefer to simply sit in this far back pew.  He was very gracious and left me alone for the rest of the ceremony. 

The attendees then headed for the cemetery and more prayers and song were done for Patrick.  He was lowered into the ground and we each threw a handful of dirt on the simple pine wood casket.  

I skipped the lunch because I headed to Duluth to visit with Reenie (Mary's sister) and husband, Tom.  We met in Hinkley Minnesota at a place called Tobies.  We had a fine visit, a late lunch and discussed the solution to all the world's problems.  Reenie has had a rough time medically these past few months but she seemed to be in fine condition and was feeling much better.  

I returned to Minneapolis and checked into the Radisson (priceline rocks).  After dumping stuff in my room, I went for a walk up and down Nicollet Mall.  Minneapolis was one of the first cities in the US to take a major street and turn it into a permanent walking mall.  I think it was done in the 60's. The Mary Tyler Moore TV show was 'based' in Minneapolis and it opened with Mary Tyler Moore throwing her hat in the air on the Nicollet Mall. Here is the statue that been put up since that show was done. 

Here is the opening clip from the TV show.  The end of this clip is the moment they are capturing in the statue.  

Mary Tyler Moore Opening Clip

Well, the weather here has been unbelievably warm!  The car thermometer is showing 80, 81, 82 degrees during the day.  Considering that March usually brings a major blizzard--often on St. Pats so its called the St Pat's Blizzard. To have shirt sleeve weather for St Pat's is unheard of.  The mall was full of people and police. I leaned I had just missed the parade, one of the reasons the mall was swarming with people.  After a nice stroll and lots of people watching, I went back to the hotel for a late supper.  Again, a martini to toast Patrick and a brie and spinach salad. It was really good.  

I ate a the bar so I met all sorts of folks.  The most interesting was a St. Ben's grad from the class of 2011.  When I said I was in town for a funeral and the conversation led to "a monk at St John's", she reacted quite strongly.  It turns out she had worked in the monks retirement center while a student. When I showed her his picture, she confirmed that she had known Patrick! Small world!  

Well, I closed the bar at the Radisson. Not hard to do, they only kept it open until midnight. Clearly, it was not party central for St. Pats.  

Ciao, 

p