Memories on Valentines

Mary agreed to move to Los Gatos in January of 1995 at my invitation--and insistence.  It was rather gutsy of me as I wasn't promising her anything except a roof over her head and a good time!  

Turns out that ex-Judges have a tough time finding jobs in a different state. Her standing in Arizona meant nothing in California, and her resume was totally intimidating to hiring managers because she had been a judge.  Although 1995 was a good year overall, Mary had trouble finding employment and it took until later in the year.  

My venture as a start-up President ended about the time Mary arrived. That meant she was moving to be with an unemployed high tech executive who was offering a roof and a good time!  My employer did keep me on full salary for six months and possession of the company's executive car so it wasn't too bad! 

Given our financial straights, we chose to eat at a local Mexican restaurant, Pedro's in Los Gatos for Valentines of 1995.  

Let me say that I do recall a rather large elephant in the room on that Valentines Day.  After all, she had been in California for six weeks, we had been exclusively dating for the prior 3-4 years and one might suspect that the big oaf at the table might just ask a rather pertinent question on Valentines.  

The oaf (me) did detect the elephant. So I did make an offer but probably not what she expected.  

I said, "Mary, we can spend the next weeks and months wondering what the next step for us is.  I suggest we table all discussion of our future relationship for a year."  And what did she say? "OK, that works for me."  In hindsight, I am sure she was ready to strangle me!  

Roll the clock to Valentines of 1996.  By now, of course because I am a guy, I have totally and completely forgotten about the one year moratorium!  And, I blindly stumble into making the suggestion that we have Valentine's dinner at Pedro's again after coming home with candy, cards and flowers.  Now, one would expect that I would have had some inkling of what I was doing. You'd be wrong, very wrong.  Mary, I am sure, took my invitation to Pedro's as my intention to resume our discussion of our future relationship. After all, our one year moratorium ended on Valentines Day. She didn't tell me what she was expecting but she eagerly accepted the invitation. Yah think!?!

As we are shown to our table, Mary asked me if I remember the prior year's Valentines.  

"Of course," say I "we had dinner here and I think we sat at that table over there." Now Mary could be direct but in this case she decided to be subtle, another of her specialties.  

She responded, "Oh, that's right!" and let it drop.  But my little grey cells kept working.  I asked myself why she'd bring that up.  I mean, we'd been to Pedro's probably once a month since she'd moved to Los Gatos so for her to specifically call out the prior Valentines was a bit of a befuddlement to me. We continued talking about everything and nothing as lovers do.  It was very pleasant.  

Mary tried another tack, "Wow, this is my second Valentines in California and I have to say its been a great year."  Now my grey cells are kicking into overdrive. This is not the kind of thing she'd say out of the blue. I detected that part but for the life of me did not remember the agreed one year moratorium.  

So, dear reader, here we are with Mary remembering with crystal clear clarity the end of the one year moratorium on Valentines Day and I am sure she was expecting the big question--perhaps he had bought a ring, perhaps there were flowers coming to the table, maybe he has plans of some kind for a really special dessert, maybe he'd get down on one knee--who knows what the expectations of a woman in love are?  

On my side of the table, I am simply enjoying my margarita, the chips and salsa and my tostada and Mary's company and hoping she'd let me have the milk chocolate goodies in the See's candy I had given her earlier instead of taking the box to her work. (Mary preferred dark chocolate and I prefer milk so I always bought a mixed box.) It was a beautiful time in my life and I assume in hers.  

But her last statement needed a response, after all, she had been in Los Gatos for 13 and one half months, I was working some rather lucrative consulting, she had found employment in a non-profit managing their lobbyist and life was good.  

So I opened my mouth and said, "Yes, it has been a great year..." and as soon as I used the word 'year', the little grey cells went into the biggest fireworks show you have ever seen!  OMG, this is the end of our one year moratorium!  What an idiot, I had totally forgotten.  There were no extra flowers, or ring, or anything. I mean, I wanted to marry her but I had done absolutely nothing, na-na, zip, zilch in terms of preparation for this rather special evening. So I continue "...and I cannot tell you how much your mean to me." 

I am sure she was thinking, "Oh, yes you can!"   

Rather than blunder directly into it, I then say, "Mary, we agreed a year ago on a moratorium to not talk about our future. I guess that means tonight is the end of the moratorium?"  Pretty good considering I had not a clue about the moratorium ending until 15 seconds ago!  

"Yes," she responds. 

"So I've been thinking," I say and I also notice that she is now sitting up straight, there is a slight blush on her cheeks and the look of expectation would melt the heart.  

Well, the rest is history. I did ask her to marry me and she did say yes.  We were married later that same year in September in Monterey California. 

And we had a wonderful, beautiful loving relationship until she died in 2010.     

All Ways and Always will I love her.