Leyla is up for adoption

Special
Needs Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

*  * 
*  Born deaf  * 
*  *

Wonderful 5
year old female Blenheim needs a new home.

Not
recommended for very young children.

• My situation is changing and I can no longer keep this wonderful
  little girl. 


• She was born deaf and responds well to hand signals. 


• She lives in Los Gatos. 


• Her medical care has been done at VCA Johnsons since she arrived
  at 1 year old. 




• Like many
  CKCS, she does have medical conditions from time to time.  Any prospective owner needs to be aware.




• Target Date for Adoption of May 1 (or earlier)

Two Years

My flight to Minnesota on the 7th was uneventful.  Dinner with my sister and checked into the Hilton Garden Inn in Minneapolis.  The Hotwire price was outstanding although the daily parking fee was a bit pricey.  

Mary's family plot is on this side of the tree, pictures taken about noon time. 

On Easter Sunday (8th) I went to Resurrection Cemetery.  The Quirks are buried in a section of the cemetery that does not allow monuments or head stones, only foot stones.  

It still seems unreal that she is dead.  

When I walked up to this foot stone, the tears simply started.  The road is a few feet away so I play our favorite music through the car stereo. And I spend time with her.  I was there from about noon until 5PM or so.  So many thoughts, so many feelings, so much to tell her about. 


And such a huge void I must live with.  


Perhaps because she is buried in Minnesota and I have only been able to visit annually, a whole pile of emotions seems to tumble out of me for several weeks prior to the trip, while visiting and after I get home.  This year was particularly hard because the decision to put down Mary's favorite dog had been hanging over me for months and I finally made the decision just prior to the trip.  


Even today is melancholy as I unpack my clothes and do laundry.  We always had a nice meal celebrating our 'being home' and I will never share that with Mary again. 


I really did not want to see family on April 8, in spite of it being Easter and my birthday.  In Mary's honor, I ordered a ticket to see the current production at the Guthrie. Mary took me there the first time, probably in 1965 just two years after it opened. So I went to the Guthrie that evening and enjoyed a play to honor her words to me "embrace life for both of us now". 


Before I left the cemetery, I stopped to see various family plots. 

My Mom, died April 8, 1988. 

I was in California and getting ready for work--in fact I was in the shower--when the call came from Dad that Mom had died. I packed a bag and headed for Minnesota on the next available plane. 

My Aunt Claire married my Dad's brother older brother John. She died on April 8, 2003. 

Aunt Claire was always a special lady in my life. And, in spite of the short time Mary and I were together (1990-2010 the 2nd time around) and living thousands of miles away, Aunt Claire had earned a special spot in Mary's life too. It happened at Uncle Coleman Connolly's funeral, held just three months after we were married in 1996.  Aunt Claire and Mary spent a large portion of the wake on a couch together discussing life and the family.  Mary often mentioned that touching experience. 

Resurrection Cemetery is located on the bluffs above Augusta and Lemay (not Lamey) lakes

My immediate family is buried in this same cemetery.  John and Claire are on the edge of the bluff, Mom and Dad are set back from the bluff not more than 100 feet. And the Connollys (Mom's family) and Quirks are up on the hill on the far side of the property. 

My space awaits here with Mom and Dad.  I didn't realize how my shadow impacts the meaning of this picture. 

It is truly hard to spend time visiting those who have died.  Its very hard when its a grandparent or parent or an Aunt or Uncle who you loved as part of your family.  


But nothing is comparable to visiting the grave of your spouse.  Nothing.  

Time to go. The tree's shadow has shifted from my noon arrival. 

p

Email circulated at my office today

Happy trails to you, until we meet again!
(With apologies to Roy Rogers and Dale Evans.)

As of April 15, I am officially retiring from Applied Materials and full time work. Instead, I plan on spending lots of time with family and that means traveling to Pasadena, Phoenix, Denver, Minnesota, Pennsylvania and New York City.

I also plan on being a fanatic about the America's Cup too.

The year 2012 means I've been in the semiconductor business for 43 years (1969). It has served me well and enabled me to make the decision to retire.

Drop a line or call, I'd love to hear from you.

Oh, and feel free to forward this to friends and acquaintances, after 43 years I may not have everyone’s current contact info.

Pat

+1 408 827 8827
Pat@Lamey.us
www.Lamey.us



Pat

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Two Years

It is now two years since Mary died.  My life has been sort of a 'sustain the status quo' as my primary mode.  In the last several months, I have made major decisions and they are being done. I retired from full time work (effective Feb 1, actually April 15), I bought a studio apartment in San Francisco with a view of the bay, I will be selling the house Mary and I created in 2000 and spent the next decade 'finishing', I'll downsize to a townhouse here in Los Gatos, and Shawna, Mary's 17.5 year old dog, died last week.  

And in the middle of all that activity and forward motion, I have fallen into an emotional abyss these past couple of weeks as the anniversary of Mary's death approached.  


Mary last spoke on Easter Sunday two years ago.  That year, Easter was on the 4th.  By Monday morning, the 5th, she was unconscious and her vital functions were virtually gone--kidneys, bowel et al. But, her heart and lungs were still working--weak--but working.  


I hope you never, ever have to watch a loved one continue "living" when they are clearly not conscious and there is no hope for recovery.  The hospital staff removed all the instruments so the lights, beeping and alarms were gone during the last days.  They call it Comfort Care--provide comfort to the patient. This is, I now know, the last stage of Palliative Care.   


Mary's condition told us that she was going to die. Her collection bag was empty because no fluids were being removed by her liver and kidneys because they were in failure.  Her body simply continued to retain the fluid being delivered by her IV. There was far more impact on me when I realized all the activity with the doctors and nurses suddenly stops because she is in comfort care.  They stopped taking measurements of temperature and blood pressure and all the daily things they routinely do in a hospital. The room was quiet, very quiet. Few visits by any of the hospital staff.  The irregular rythm of nurses, interns, specialists and doctors appearing in the room suddenly stopped.  


Mary had great nurses when her status changed to palliative care and then to comfort care.  They were very patient with us, for the entire family had arrived by April 1st, the Thursday before Easter.  Tim and Charlize. Lara, Scott, Madelyn and Emma.  Daniel.  Chris, Casey, Danny and Sarah. Erika. Reenie. They all made it to the hospital so they could say good bye to Mary.  And Mary said good bye to each of them for she had moments of lucid conversation up to and through Easter Sunday.  They stayed as long as they could and by the 8th, only Reenie and I remained. 


In the late afternoon of the 8th, Reenie and I were both in the room, concentrating on our computers as we had talked through so much already.  Reenie suddenly stood from her position at the foot of the bed. I was sitting next to Mary and as I wondered why Reenie had stood, I realized the soft whisper of Mary's breathing was no longer rhythmic.  


There is nothing in life's experience like the death of a loved one.  Be it sudden and accidental or be it long and drawn out as cancer often does, the hole created in your emotional being is large and painful.  And the anniversary of the death resonates loudly in your emotional being. So much so, even two years later, you are in wonder at the massive impact it has on you.  


If you are interested, you can click on this link which will take you to my blog from April of 2010.  


And clicking on this link will take you to my blog for April of 2011. 


Let me close this entry as I did last year. 

Mary, my love

Let your itchy feet carry you 

to new and wonderful places,

Let your spirit hold 

and keep our love,

All Ways and 

Always,

Pat