Happy Birthday, Mary

Technically, I am a day late.  Yesterday I was fully aware it was Mary's 66th birthday.  And, I did not have the guts to sit down at the keyboard and write a birthday post.

I managed to surprise her twice with birthday parties.  One was before she moved to California so it must have been 1994.  The second was her 60th birthday and I held it at the California Cafe with friends and my daughter.

For pictures of her 60th, click this link. View Album

Mary's birthday started the 31 calendar days when she was the "older woman" because my birthday is April 8.  She hated the simple fact and after a few years asked me to stop mentioning it--it really did bother her.  I don't know why, and frankly I'd certainly love to bother her with it now but it is and never will be possible.

We were able to celebrate her last birthday in 2010.  She was feeling pretty good during the first part of March.  We were, of course, basking in the glow of the Oncologist's parting words from her Feb 22nd visit, "Go and live your life, you are cancer free!"  That was such a hopeful birthday.  Yes, she was still on morphine because of the pain in her back and we were working with the medical folks to wean her off the drug.  Plus, identifying the source of the pain so she could truly, "Go live her life..."

I gave her a small gold penguin pin.  She collected penguins and it was always a default gift if I couldn't come up with anything else.  Finding penguins could sometimes be a challenge but it made for a fun hunt.

Her appetite was good and after almost a year of my preparing meals, I managed to fix a nice birthday dinner for her.  Heck she even switched back to fish which she was unable to stomach in January.  

Here are a couple of links from the postings I made in 2010.
http://pat-los-gatos.blogspot.com/2010/03/happy-birthday.html
http://pat-los-gatos.blogspot.com/2010/03/nice-and-quiet-birthday.html

Happy Birthday, Mary
Always and All Ways will I love you, 

p

Memories on Valentines

Mary agreed to move to Los Gatos in January of 1995 at my invitation--and insistence.  It was rather gutsy of me as I wasn't promising her anything except a roof over her head and a good time!  

Turns out that ex-Judges have a tough time finding jobs in a different state. Her standing in Arizona meant nothing in California, and her resume was totally intimidating to hiring managers because she had been a judge.  Although 1995 was a good year overall, Mary had trouble finding employment and it took until later in the year.  

My venture as a start-up President ended about the time Mary arrived. That meant she was moving to be with an unemployed high tech executive who was offering a roof and a good time!  My employer did keep me on full salary for six months and possession of the company's executive car so it wasn't too bad! 

Given our financial straights, we chose to eat at a local Mexican restaurant, Pedro's in Los Gatos for Valentines of 1995.  

Let me say that I do recall a rather large elephant in the room on that Valentines Day.  After all, she had been in California for six weeks, we had been exclusively dating for the prior 3-4 years and one might suspect that the big oaf at the table might just ask a rather pertinent question on Valentines.  

The oaf (me) did detect the elephant. So I did make an offer but probably not what she expected.  

I said, "Mary, we can spend the next weeks and months wondering what the next step for us is.  I suggest we table all discussion of our future relationship for a year."  And what did she say? "OK, that works for me."  In hindsight, I am sure she was ready to strangle me!  

Roll the clock to Valentines of 1996.  By now, of course because I am a guy, I have totally and completely forgotten about the one year moratorium!  And, I blindly stumble into making the suggestion that we have Valentine's dinner at Pedro's again after coming home with candy, cards and flowers.  Now, one would expect that I would have had some inkling of what I was doing. You'd be wrong, very wrong.  Mary, I am sure, took my invitation to Pedro's as my intention to resume our discussion of our future relationship. After all, our one year moratorium ended on Valentines Day. She didn't tell me what she was expecting but she eagerly accepted the invitation. Yah think!?!

As we are shown to our table, Mary asked me if I remember the prior year's Valentines.  

"Of course," say I "we had dinner here and I think we sat at that table over there." Now Mary could be direct but in this case she decided to be subtle, another of her specialties.  

She responded, "Oh, that's right!" and let it drop.  But my little grey cells kept working.  I asked myself why she'd bring that up.  I mean, we'd been to Pedro's probably once a month since she'd moved to Los Gatos so for her to specifically call out the prior Valentines was a bit of a befuddlement to me. We continued talking about everything and nothing as lovers do.  It was very pleasant.  

Mary tried another tack, "Wow, this is my second Valentines in California and I have to say its been a great year."  Now my grey cells are kicking into overdrive. This is not the kind of thing she'd say out of the blue. I detected that part but for the life of me did not remember the agreed one year moratorium.  

So, dear reader, here we are with Mary remembering with crystal clear clarity the end of the one year moratorium on Valentines Day and I am sure she was expecting the big question--perhaps he had bought a ring, perhaps there were flowers coming to the table, maybe he has plans of some kind for a really special dessert, maybe he'd get down on one knee--who knows what the expectations of a woman in love are?  

On my side of the table, I am simply enjoying my margarita, the chips and salsa and my tostada and Mary's company and hoping she'd let me have the milk chocolate goodies in the See's candy I had given her earlier instead of taking the box to her work. (Mary preferred dark chocolate and I prefer milk so I always bought a mixed box.) It was a beautiful time in my life and I assume in hers.  

But her last statement needed a response, after all, she had been in Los Gatos for 13 and one half months, I was working some rather lucrative consulting, she had found employment in a non-profit managing their lobbyist and life was good.  

So I opened my mouth and said, "Yes, it has been a great year..." and as soon as I used the word 'year', the little grey cells went into the biggest fireworks show you have ever seen!  OMG, this is the end of our one year moratorium!  What an idiot, I had totally forgotten.  There were no extra flowers, or ring, or anything. I mean, I wanted to marry her but I had done absolutely nothing, na-na, zip, zilch in terms of preparation for this rather special evening. So I continue "...and I cannot tell you how much your mean to me." 

I am sure she was thinking, "Oh, yes you can!"   

Rather than blunder directly into it, I then say, "Mary, we agreed a year ago on a moratorium to not talk about our future. I guess that means tonight is the end of the moratorium?"  Pretty good considering I had not a clue about the moratorium ending until 15 seconds ago!  

"Yes," she responds. 

"So I've been thinking," I say and I also notice that she is now sitting up straight, there is a slight blush on her cheeks and the look of expectation would melt the heart.  

Well, the rest is history. I did ask her to marry me and she did say yes.  We were married later that same year in September in Monterey California. 

And we had a wonderful, beautiful loving relationship until she died in 2010.     

All Ways and Always will I love her.  

Feburary--Sneaky, eh?

Wow, I really don't know how it became Feburary. After my marathon holiday trip, I thought life would settle down. Yah think?  Nope! 

Starting from the top:

My house in Los Gatos has still not sold.  But my next door neighbor listed their house a week ago Saturday and accepted an offer by Monday.  So the market is definitely out there, we need to find the right buyer.  

My San Francisco studio apartment will be listed on MLS this week. Why?  Because I made an offer on and was accepted for the identical unit 13 floors higher.  I couldn't resist because it has the view that includes the Golden Gate bridge.  It may be silly but I really love the building and location and now with the view from the 17th floor, its perfect! I'll be moving about March 1 or so. 

One of my volunteer activities is the chair of the fundraising effort for the youth sailing program at the Golden Gate Yacht Club.  The major event is this week as we celebrate the third anniversary of the victory that brought the America's Cup to the Golden Gate Club and San Francisco.  During the celebration, we'll be auctioning some neat stuff to raise funds for the kids program.  Its been a delight working with other club members to create this event.  Really a good thing! 

Another volunteer activity is with the Silicon Valley/San Jose Salvation Army. I joined their advisory board as a marketing resource to see if we couldn't help the SA with its image and presence in Silicon Valley. Some of my very best friends recruited me to this effort as the SA has a tremendous impact with their programs to help those in need.  My efforts are to improve the visibility of their faith-based charity programs so that more people and corporations will provide more financial support to the activities. 

January also included theater!  I attended "4,000 Miles" at ACT and performances sponsored by SHNSF that brings broadway road shows to San Francisco.  The broadway shows are fun and upbeat and this season has included Lion King, Book of Mormon, Wicked and Anything Goes. All were absolutely superb! 

Another highlight was attending the San Francisco 49ers playoff game against the Green Bay Packers, aka Cheeseheads. The experience was great for several reasons:

1. The 49ers won
2. Quarterback Colin Kaepernick is awesome
3. I used public transportation from my apartment and it was a breeze compared to taking a car to Candlestick. 
4. It was a great twilight game meaning real football weather--not hot, not cold, just a crisp San Francisco January evening.  

The SuperBowl party I attended was held at the Golden Gate Yacht Club. As a long time Vikings fan, I was so looking forward to attend a SB party for the winning team.  Darn, maybe I am the jinx?  

My friend, MaryR, is fighting yet another round of cancer and chemo. She has finished her full chemo course of treatment (18 weeks worth) as of this week and significant progress was made so things are looking up!  She was able to continue working during the whole duration so she is one tough lady!  

All in all, things are going "pretty darn good" as they say near Lake Woebegone. 

Ciao! 

A Fast Moving Holiday Season

One of the things I wanted to do in retirement is rebuild relationships with friends and family.  As you read in my prior post, I did some of that for Thanksgiving. 

Well, Christmas was another big dose of rebuilding!  

On December 15 I left Los Gatos for Pasadena to visit Lara, Scott, Madelyn and Emma.  I also delivered some of the items from Mary's estate including glassware, the family cookbook and some photo albums that Mary had with pictures of the kids as they grew up. 

This is Lara and Emma at their Christmas dinner table. 

I was tickled to see the glassware I had delivered in this picture.  

From Pasadena, I drove to Phoenix to see Tim and Charlize.  Again, I had items from the estate that needed to be delivered.  And I also saw my brother, Dan, who lives outside of Phoenix in Chandler. 

Charlize and the jolly guy. 

In both Pasadena and Phoenix, I dropped off Mary's costmetics and instruments (brushes, combs, etc.) for the grand girls to play with.  Lara tells me the cosmetics themselves are probably too old but she'd take a took at them.  

Scott, Madelyn and Emma after decorating their tree! 

On the 20th, I flew from Phoenix to St. Paul, leaving my Honda Element with Tim.  In St. Paul I saw my sister, my sister in law, cousing Mary Jo and family and Stephanie.  On Stephanie's side I spent several events with her family.  And, her family includes my best buddy since 3rd grade who happens to be her brother-in-law. All in all it was very, very pleasant and nice.  Well, except fot the single digit temperatures in St. Paul while I was there.  One (1) degree on Christmas Day! 

Stephanie and Pat

With Stephanie's relatives. The gals take pictures of the group of guys. 

 The group of guys. My buddy from 3rd grade is in the blue and red sitting in the front.  

 And a mighty fine Christmas morning--1 degree at 9AM!  

What is that old song, 

"On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day, its one degree in the morning!" 

On the morning of the 26th, I flew to Denver to visit my son, his wife Casey and my two grand children, Danny and Sarah.  Denver weather was better than St. Paul and visiting Chris and his gang is always a big treat!  Although I saw Erika at Thanksgiving, we missed at Christmas.  She left Minnesota for Denver as I arrived in Minnesota and then we exchanged places on the 26th, missing each other again as she returned to Minnesota while I arrived in Denver.  Oh, well, I'l catch her next time I am sure. 

Sarah, Casey and Dan hamming it up for the camera! 

Izzy is 80+ pounds but Squeakers the cat is clearly in control! 

 Denver just opened a new History Museum.  

Sarah, Danny, Chris and Casey in a Model T Ford! 

Who says flyover country doesn't have a sense of humor? Good food! 

After three full days in Denver I jumped on the plane again and landed in Charleston South Carolina.  This was to join the group known as the Farmers for a wonderful first week of the year on Fripp Island.  A small aside is that one leg of the trip included a ride on the brand new Boeing 787 Dreamliner and I was upgraded to first class!  

First class in a Boeing 787 Dreamliner. 

There were 17 of us on Fripp in a 7 bedroom house with a massive kitchen and great room on the main floor.  Our hosts, Leslie and Richard had a place nearby and they hosted one couple there too. So we spent our days in the big rental house and late each evening, we lost four folks to the 2nd house.  The Farmers are a group from St. Johns and St. Bens (Mary's alma mater) who lived in a community housing experiment in the school year 1968-69. Mary and I have traveled with them to Minnesota, Massachuesetts, Texas and Bali.  After Mary died, I've been to MN, MA, Peru and now South Carolina with the group.  Good people, good times and wonderful community spirit.  You know the group is working well when one of the members complains, "Every time I get up from a meal to help with the dishes, there are already three people using all three sinks in this kitchen!"  

Pictures of the 17 of us in the kitchen and great room on Fripp Island. 

We also visited Beaufort SC, Charleston SC and Savannah GA.  Great day trips and such history of both the founding of the country, revolutionary war, slavery and the civil war.  Great place to learn. 

From Fripp, I flew back to Phoenix to recover my car.  I saw Tim and Charlize and then headed off to see my brother in Chandler.  From there, I spent two days in/near Tucson in the desert plus visiting my friend Terry and Barnes who live in the Tucson area.  Saguaro National Park is clearly something special with the large population of these well known desert cactus.  

Sunset in the desert. 

 Saguaro Cactus in Saguaro National Park

I then had a third dinner with my brother on Tuesday evening. He is moving to the Philipines soon and his house is sold and supposed to close this week.  I wish him well and hope all of his expectations are fulfilled.  

Some workers Dan hired load their truck to take the last of his furniture away.

(And, yes, they did strap it down tightly before they drove.) 

From there, I headed home and arrived Los Gatos about 1AM today (Jan 10).  From December 15 to Jan 10 is 25 days so just under 4 weeks.  

It was definitely time to come home.  

A Quick Note!

Wow, I've been busy, as usual!  

Let me see, I've seen Olympia Dukakis in "Electra" at the San Francisco American Conservatory Theater (ACT-SF.org), "The Lion King" as part of my season tickets at SHNSF.com, "A Christmas Carol" at ACT-SF, attended the Commodore's Ball at the Golden Gate Yacht Club (GGYC), dropped in to St. Paul to visit relatives and friends for Thanksgiving, saw a San Francisco 49ers game at Candlestick park and fought a sinus/headcold for about 10 of those days. Otherwise, things have been quiet!    

In my last posting, I said I only had tickets for Dec 29. We'll, that has changed. I'll be in lots of places for the holidays. T

This Thanksgiving I did spend time with Erika in Minneapolis. She was there for the holiday and I spent a few days there visiting with her, Maureen, Mary Jo, Denny, Padriac, Angela and Stephanie plus more friends as well. The usual cast of characters!  

At the Yacht Club, I have been named Chair of the fund raising committee for the GGYC Youth Sailing Fundraiser. It's a lot of work and a lot of fun as well. We'll have a big event in a few months!  

All-in-all, this retirement thing is so busy, it more than enough for one person!  I wonder when it slows down?

Back, Again!

Ah, November in Northern California.  Too bad I wasn't here!  

Well, only for a few days.  Shortly after returning from Minnesota, I headed to Denver to visit my son and his family.  It is truly a pleasure to visit with them, spend time with the kids, visit my son's office and generally just hang out with the family.  Casey, as always, was a super gracious hostess and makes the trips truly enjoyable. 

Why would we visit my son's office?  Because they set the place up on Friday afternoon as a Halloween party for the kids.  Danny and Sarah had a blast with all the fun stuff they set up!  

For iPad users, click Here  to see my Denver trip pictures. 



From Denver, I went directly to Hawaii.  Well, with an overnight stop at my place in San Francisco to change from winter clothes to Hawaii clothes.  And, so that Stephanie could join me flying in from St. Paul.  

The trip was great. It started with both of us getting upgraded to First Class on the way to Maui!  Thank you, United! It seemed like everything we tried to do turned magical.  It was a great trip.  

For iPad users, click here to see the Hawaii pictures.  



We stayed at the Ekahi Villa's, the same place I stayed with Reenie and Tom two years ago, but in a different unit.  Click here for a link to my November 2010 blog postings with the story and pictures from that trip to Maui. It explains the Ekahi Villas and the three beaches I call Mary's Beaches.  

And, yes, the reason for the trip was the same ITPC conference by SEMI that has taken me to Hawaii each November since 2000 (except '09 and last year).  

My trip to New York for Thanksgiving has been cancelled but not because of the storm damage. Rather, Erika won't be there so there is no really good reason to go for Thanksgiving.  I'll connect with her elsewhere, I am sure. 

And, no, the house has not sold. Yes, the house 2 doors away sold for $650,000 more than mine. It is 200 sq ft larger and the lot is only 66% the size of mine.  So, the activity level has picked up, according to my broker. 

Anyway, I am home for a bit with my next airplane ticket set for Dec 29 when I head to Fripp Island in the Carolina's for a Farmers' Get-together. 

Ciao. 

Back in California

Time for another monthly update. 

Spent the last week in Minnesota visiting with my sister, cousins and friends.  Sis has a professional "organizer" helping her figure out how to best set up the apartment and the difference is amazing!  

Went on two tours on Saturday in St. Paul.  The 'caves' tour which is an old silica mine just of Wabasha south of the Mississippi.  The caves were originally created because the sand was so pure, it could go directly into the manufacturing process for glass. The silica miners would go in a couple hundred of feet but then abandon the cave, assuming the sandstone was unstable for further digging.  They'd then open another cave mine a bit further down the bluff.  The customer?  Henry Ford for all those cars he built.  

The second tour was a history of St. Paul with a gangster twist.  In the early part of the 1900's, St. Paul was the resort community for the nation's gangsters.  We visited the houses where Ma Barker hung out for a bit plus places of infamy during St. Paul's hell years.  

On Sunday night we got cousin Denny to fire up his pizza oven and he prepared a pizza feast. Wow, is he good!  

First cousin once removed Katie Connolly, my sister Sister Maureen Lamey and cousin Dr. Mary Jo Connolly

The first week of October was a wild time in San Francisco.  The America's Cup World Series regatta was held concurrently with the Fleet Week activities.  Nothing like watching the Blue Angels over Alcatraz one minute and the next watching the AC boats racing past Alcatraz as well. 

Fleet week starts with a parade of ships. The SFFD traditionally  leads with  all  pumps running. This picture was taken from my balcony.  

The Navy's Blue Angels over San Francisco Bay

The Fleet Race just underway late on Saturday afternoon. 

The Golden Gate Yacht Club put on quite a show.  Fantastic buffet meals and front row seating for watching both the races and the airshow!  

Turns out San Francisco had quite a weekend October 5-6-7.  Fleet Week, America's Cup, Blue grass concert (multiple days) in Golden Gate Park (http://tiny.cc/e0wfmw), Burning Man Decompression (http://tiny.cc/e0wfmw), Castro Street Fair (http://tiny.cc/e0wfmw), and finally, the Italian Heritage Parade (http://tiny.cc/e0wfmw).  Add in the sports: Cal football, Stanford football, Giants playoff baseball and Oakland playoff baseball.   I heard the city expected over 2 million visitors for the weekend. I think they were all trying to get on my bus! 

Other news: No, the house has not sold. However, a house two doors away went on the market for $650,000 more than mine last Wednesday and its under contract now. So its just a matter of the right buyer!  And, having a house sell for that much more than mine certainly says I am not overpriced for the neighborhood! 

I did lose about two weeks to a really nasty flu bug. I was literally down and out for three days after a nice Saturday boat trip across the bay to Angel Island for a club picnic.  

Who knew I'd spend the next two weeks with an awful flu bug?

While sick, I dragged myself to my SF place to take pictures of the Endeavour on its last journey to the space museum in LA. These shot were taken from my balcony while I was wearing pajamas.  

That is about it for now.  If you are on FaceBook, I am too as Pat Lamey or Patrick Lamey. It turns out there is a Patrick Lamey in Nova Scotia and one of us uses Pat and the other uses Patrick on Facebook. I cannot remember which is which but if you see my shining face, you'll know its me!