A Poem Sent by Ingrid

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there. I do not die.

 By Mary Elisabeth Frye    

Ingrid, MaryR, Emilie and Mary at our Christmas Table, 2005
Double click on the picture for a full size view

                             

Two Years: March 28, 2009

It was a Saturday and Mary had come back from the previous weekend's trip to Denver with a "flu bug".  Well, we figured out it wasn't a flu when Mary asked me on that sunny morning if she was looking yellow--jaundiced.  I did a bit of research on various medical web sites and as a result, we went to the emergency room at Good Samaritan hospital.  After they ran a few tests, the decision was to admit her.  Click here for the initial blog entry from March 29, 2009.

Thus started the journey through the medical maze.  May you never experience the maze.

Ciao,

Pat

The One Year Anniversary

As I have written a number of times, this time frame is my gauntlet.  While I was in China, two dates passed by. 

• Mar 22:  Mary's symptoms of Cholangiocarcinoma presented while we were in Denver (2009).
  Last week, I flew on March 19, arriving China on March 20.  And, frankly, was so busy on the trip I totally forgot about the two year anniversary of Mary's presentation of symptoms.  I am not feeling guilty, just noting that it passed without my notice. However, I did go to Denver a week before China partly in honor of that two year mark. 

• Mar 26:  Mary was admitted to Stanford for the last time (2010)
  This one I remembered.  When you take someone to the hospital, you take them with the hope of recovering from the ailment.  In Mary's case, the trip to Stanford on the 26th was the last trip to the hospital where she died on April 8. 
  You can read the entry from that date by clicking here.
  Also you can read all of the month of March 2010 by clicking here.   
  Finally, you can read the month of March 2009 by clicking here.

I talked to Reenie today.  We reminisced about the 26th. It was the day we needed to get Mary to Stanford at 11:30AM for her "sick call" in the Cancer Center.  It was a terrible moment with Mary as we did not understand her liver was in the process of failing.  And, a failing liver does not remove morphine at the normal rate, rather at a much reduced rate.  Thus, Mary was in drug overdose as her liver's functioning began to slip away.  It made the task of getting her ready to go to Stanford very difficult.  


But, we did get her ready and we did get her to Stanford.  And, unfortunately, the CA 19-9 test had skyrocketed back up to the 2,000 level from the approximately 300 level on Feb 22nd.  The doctors did not tell us of this test result until it was clear none of the known possible treatments would have an impact--that took until March 31.  More about that later.  


Ciao, 

p

Back from China

Xi'An, Nanjing, Xiamen and Beijing in five days.  And is my practice, I do not post while traveling to protect my home and Ingrid, who sits the dogs and the house. 

I returned on Saturday morning at 9AM which made it an almost 7 day trip as I left on Saturday a week ago at 12:40PM.

I'll be posting pictures in the next day or so.

Pat

What It Means to be in an Irish Family

Sent by a good Italian friend...


1) You will never play professional basketball.
2) You swear very well.
3) At least one of your cousins is a cop, fireman, bar owner, or a politician and you have at least one aunt or uncle who's a nun or a priest.
4) You think you sing very well.
5) You have no idea how to make a long story short.
6) There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper and killing someone.
7) Many of your childhood meals were boiled.
8) You have never hit your head on a ceiling.
9) You spent a good portion of your childhood on your knees praying.
10) You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
11) Many of your sisters and /or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen and there is at least one member of the family with the name Mary Catherine Eileen.
12) Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.
13) You may not know the words, but that does'n stop you from singing.
14) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you startmtalking.
15) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
16) There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
17) You are, or know someone, called Murph.
18) If you don't know Murph then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully. Then you probably know Sully McMurphy.
19) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
20) "Irish Stew" is a euphemism for boiled leftovers.
21) Childhood remedies for the common cold often included some form of whiskey.
22) There's no leaving a family party without saying good-bye for a least 45 minutes.

Hosting a Dinner

On Monday evening, I hosted four co-workers + one spouse for a nice salmon dinner. This was my ET (Engineering and Technology) Core Group. I am not as involved this year because my assignments have changed. It was good to get together with the old gang.

I cooked salmon from Farmers' Market. Shannon brought her Mom's bacon and potato dish, Janell fixed a wonderful tossed salad and Sandy brought dessert! David and Alan helped drink the spirits as you can see by the picture.

It was very nice having friends over for dinner, especially when they brought so much of it! And, as always happens in Mary's kitchen, we all ended up congregated in the kitchen for our pre-dinner chat and appetizers. As a friend once said, "This kitchen is just so nicely laid out for entertaining. For any dinner I attended, we all stood around in the kitchen while Mary buzzed here and there preparing the meal."

From 2000 House Remodel Project

A Quick Recap of Denver

It was a blast!

Seeing my grand children is just such a treat.  They are growing up so fast, it is amazing.  We went to Dinosaur Ridge on Saturday to look at fossils and footprints of the dinosaurs.  On Sunday, we went to the Denver Botanical Gardens and that was a super treat.  iPad users click here.

2011-03 Denver

Taken during a recent drip to Denver. It was just super to see my grand kids, Danny and Sarah, and to visit my son, Chris, and my daughter-in-law, Casey.

Click on the picture to see the album.

Happy Birthday, Mary!

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, 
love leaves a memory no one can steal" 
from an Irish gravestone.

Today, March 7, would have been your 64th birthday. Gosh, we figured you'd live well past Grampa Jack (86) and maybe even longer than Alberta (97). 

As your youngest son, Daniel, said last April, he feels so cheated and I agree. There is so much yet to do and so much to say. 

We never did get to Ireland to kiss the Blarney stone, or Antarctica to see penguins, or to Provence, France for you to attend the cooking school. 

We never got to enjoy the relaxation of retirement where we could be together and enjoy photography, cooking, our favorite beach on Maui with surf, sand and mixed drinks without concern for time. Most importantly, we never got to visit the grandkids without the pressure to rush back because of work. 

Mary, I love you and I miss you. No one will ever, ever steal my memories. 

All Ways and Always will I love you. 

Patrick.

Another big day coming up

Mary's birthday is March 7, Monday this year.  Last year I scrounged around some jewelry stores and found a penguin on a gold chain for her birthday present.  I counted statue and stuffed penguins around the house last weekend, and could locate 61 of them that were out on display. I didn't think to add necklaces, pins and other jewelry that could be in a penguin form.  I wonder what the total will be.

Mary collected penguins from early on. She told me it was a bird she was always enamored with and touring Antarctica was on our list so she could see penguins in their natural habitat.  We didn't make it, unfortunately. She also said penguins were an easy thing the kids could find and buy for various celebrations--Christmas, birthday, whatever.  When Mary moved into her own place in 1992, I bought a blow up penguin that stood almost as tall as Mary.  She loved that silly penguin until it sprung a leak and was not repairable.

Our most memorable birthday in recent years was the surprise party I threw for her at California Cafe.  She had no idea I had arranged it.  Here are the pictures from her 60th.

Click on Mary's surprise 60th birthday party

That's all for now,

p